Our mindset shapes our lifes and influences everything we do. We see everything around us through a filter of beliefs, experiences and feelings. Everything we assume to know is actually just an interpretation and our own personal point of view. That's why it's so important to take a step back and take a look at our mindset and the way we might be keeping ourselfs from being happier.

 1. Realize that you are creating your life, not the other way around
You could change your life drastically every second. You could decide to buy a one-way plane ticket, dye your hair a crazy colour or become a buddhist and live in a temple. Serioulsy, you could if you wanted to.
Don't be  passive and a victim to your own life. Take action! You can be whoever you want and do whatever you want if you work really hard. Nowadays almost everything is possible, from changing your gender to moving to the other end of the world. Realizing that is in my opinion the first step to changing your fixed mindset. You only have one life to achieve everything you want, to be the best version of you possible, so start working on yourself and creating a better and more positive mindset now.

2. Figure out what your unconcious beliefs are
What are the stories you tell yourself? We all have some. You might believe that you are lazy, or not ... enough to do a certain thing. Maybe you are convinced that all the people that disagree with you are stupid. Personally, I used to believe that I was born a sad girl and that nobody could ever understand me. I did not even try certain things because deep down I didn't think I would succeed. I thought that I wasn't enough. Finding out what that inner voice is telling you isn't as easy as it sounds. Often, there are layers and layers of beliefs but once you have gotten to the chore of all your problems you are able to develop a new, growing mindset that can radically change the way you perceive the world and people around you.

3.  Start controlling your thoughts & Create your own, new reality
 What you think about yourself, how you choose to interpret the words that other people say and the things that are happening to you is a choice. Seriously, it is. The power to control your thoughts lies within you. If I am asking you to imagine a flower you can make it happen. Whenever your old inner voice tells you stuff like "It's not worth it, this weather sucks, what I said was stupid." carefully listen to it.  After you've let all the negative stuff sink in for a little while, question it. Is is true? Is that what you want to think? Is this thought beneficial to you, your success and your well-being? If not - talk back. Tell your story to go fuck itself. Replace your unwanted thought with something that actually helps you move forward and get somewhere in life.
Don't worry if it feels weird at first. Of course you feel like you are lying to yourself. You have gotten so used to all the negativity that everything that doesn't resonate with your old beliefs feels untrue. Don't let that feeling stop you. Keep that positive self-talk going.

4. Action speaks louder than words
Thinking good thoughts is one thing, acting on them another. It takes courage to step out of your comfort zone, but if I did, you can do it too. It's the only way we can grow as human beings. So turn your thoughts into action and be the version of you you have always wanted to be.

Most of us want to change in some way. We want to be perfect, hope that one days all our flaws will be erased. Often we try so hard to be flawless that we don't even start the projects we dream of because we don't believe in ourselves or we are too afraid to open up in a new relationship and get close to someone. Some people don't share their ideas or opinions because they think they don't matter. A lot of us live afraid of the judment of others, ashamed of certain parts about ourselves. We might hate our body, the fact that we are messy or the way we talk. I honestly believe that each us struggles with some imperfections, but the way we choose to look at them can change our lives. Accepting yourself for who you are and developing a feeling of self-worth is cruical when it comes to leading a happy and more sucessful life. Obviously you won't change your whole perspective and mindset over-night but I hope that the tipps and tricks I have learned will help you to come one or two steps closer to being ok with who you are - inside and out.


1. Appreciate your uniqueness

Everybody who lives on this planet is special. There will never be anyone exactly like you. Nobody shares the exact dreams, visons or thoughts. The way you perceive the world and people around you is unique to you. Nobody has exactly the same experiences as you do. It's amazing if you think about it - you don't even have to do something great to be prove how unique you are, because we all are. Being yourself is a gift and you have things to share with the word. If you hide who you really are becase yu are afraid to show yourself to the world the only you that will ever exist gets lost.

2. Do good things

This might sound a bit off-topic, but trust me: Being compassionate and generous has the power to change how you look at yourself. If you feel like you have nothing to be proud of - start giving more gifts, working for charity or just being a kind person in general. You have the power to brighten up someones day with just some nice compliments and a smile. What's just a little money to you can buy a meal  if you decide to give it to people who don't have a home or live in countries where hunger is all around them. If helping others isn't a good reason to be proud of yourself then I don't know what is.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others

I know - it's easier said than done. As I said before you are special and unique. That alone makes you awesome. Furthermore two people can be equally as great but completely different. You have to be able to acknowledge the fact that somebody is doing great without doubting yourself. Both Picasso and Van Gogh have been great artist in their own way. Different people prefer differet things and that's ok. There is always someone better, prettier or stronger somewhere in the world, so don't ruin your day with thinking that you should be more like someone else. You have your own talents that some people would love to have. Just keep going, do your thing and enjoy your life.


4. Ignore what other people think & stop assuming that you know

If you find yourself worrying a lot about what your friends, co-workers or family think, you have to realize that all the assumptions you are constantly making are probably wrong. It's fiction, you actually don't know what's going on inside their heads. Maybe you are right and they hate you - or maybe they are unfriendly because they have had a really bad day. Not knowing something is extremly frustrating which is why we never stop guessing, but that is actually a very toxic habit. It is good to always question wether you actually know it. If the answer to that question is no stop thinking about it and concentrate on the things you actually know to be real.
Another reason for ignoring what other people think is that it's not the truth, it's only their opinion which probably differs to the one of the person standing next to them. What people think about you doesn't say a lot about you, your apperance and personality, but about the person who thinks it. As I mentioned earlier I am sure that there are some people who absolutly hate Picassos work but that doesn't mean he is was terribel artist. Even if you try to please everyone and are the nicest human being possible there will still be someone who won't like you for what seems like no reason at all. Trying to please everyone is hopeless so stop trying and listen to what you actually want.

  5. Forgive yourself

We all regret some things. Nobody is perfect which is why mistakes happen to each  and every one of us in our lifetime. The things is we can't go back. It has already happend and you can't change the past so there is absolutely no point in whishing you could. It doesn't do anything expect for making you miserablein the present as well. To be ok with yourself you need to get over it. You are not the only one who fucked up. There are a bunch of people who did exactly the same mistake as you did and the people who you surround yourself with aren't perfect either, they might just not tell you everything. Don't let your past define your future. Forgive yourself and see your mistakes as a change for you to learn and grow. Make an effort to better yourself now so things like so you won't make the same mistake twice. You can always improve yourself no matter how old you are. Start now and become the person you always anted to be.

6. Surround yourself with good people

It's often forgotten how important it is to spend quality time with people who will actually make you feel good about yourself. If you feel like some of your friends, your partner or even family members constantly put you down, try to adress the problem or get rid of them. It doesn't mean that they are bad people in general, they might just not be right for you. I know how hard it can be to ditch some of your friends but friendship should be about lifting each other up and beliving in the other person. To fully accept yourself you need to have people in your life who do the same thing as well.

7. Care for yourself

Controlling your thoughts is a thing. If you want to love yourself for who you are it's essential that you change the way you talk to yourself. Treat yourself like a dear friend of yours. You have to spend every minute a day with yourself so what's the point in constantly putting yourself down? Be gentle and kind. Find things you like about yourself, your personality and appereance. Let yourself be proud when you have done something that was difficult. Treat yourself once in a while and buy a new book or clothes you feel confident in. Please don't just focus on the bad things but see the good. I am not telling you that you should tell yourself that you are perfect everyday. Develop a realistic view of yourself, get to know your strenghts and weaknesses. You love your friends even they have have flaws. Studies have shown that people like each other more when they can relate to each others imperfections. Being real and human makes you seem honest and nice so stop being ashamed.